(You fill in the blank)
And then you feel okay with that decision ~~~~~~~
and then you feel less okay with that decision ~~~~~~~
and then you feel not okay at all with that decision, and you get to a point where you want to align yourself with Him enough that you will even do the 'except', and you say,
"Whatever you want of me".
Feels great doesn't it? And then~~~~~~~~the 'except' never happens.
(And after I went through all that turmoil)
So I pout for a day or two ~~~~ I tell God that I feel betrayed and disappointed and confused and that He let me down (cause as my mama always said, "He's a big God and He can handle it").
And then I decide I need Him more than I need to understand and I go to my quiet-time chair, and I say I'm sorry, and I ask Him to just come sit with me ~~~~~~~ and He does (always) and
And we laugh about me and my stubbornness once again.